OK, I know that’s a provocative question, but it’s an interesting discussion to even posit the idea, and I love interesting questions! I imagine Eve may have wondered about this with Adam. But more recently, the women on The View, a woman’s talk show, debated the idea, and that’s what made me want to ponder it with you.

At the most basic level, at least with present technology, women need men for reproduction. Let’s start with that. They don’t actually need them for sex — there are vibrators and dildos and fingers if all you want is an orgasm — and I would insist that people do need orgasms (I can go into that elsewhere). But for the purely functional blessings of sex, it’s kind of optional.

One could also say that women need men for protection. While there are wonderful movies starring Wonder Woman and visions of Amazons as wise and ferocious warriors in The Black Panther, historically, men have taken on protector roles in ways that many women want (unless of course it becomes so over-protective that it becomes controlling or even menacing). I have to say that in my role as a relationship expert for the television show Married at First Sight, women I’ve interviewed commonly say they want someone who makes them feel safe as part of their list of receivables for a desirable husband.

My collaborator on the program, Pastor Calvin Roberson, always admonishes men in the couples we put together to be a “husband, that is, the band that surrounds his wife and family to make the family supported and safe.”

So, what else? There’s a lot of literature about the importance of men as role models and teachers for children, and of course most women seem designed to focus on men as their romantic choice and intimate partner. But do they need them? Or, maybe one might ask, do they need them during their entire life cycle?

Interestingly, some studies that have asked this question get a “No” from more than a few women, but when they ask men, “Do you need women?” all of them, even many gay men, say a resounding “Yes.” Many years ago, a question widely circulated in the press asked women and men if they were stranded on an atoll in the middle of the Pacific, who would they choose to be there with them? The men generally mentioned their wife or girlfriend as a first choice. The women named George Clooney (or some other yummy star).

So what’s with the women? Especially women over 50?

I think it’s a mix of experience and adaptability. The fact is that demographers believe that as many as 25% of women under 35 will not marry. For women who are interested in men but cannot fi nd one suitable enough to create a legal commitment, it may be that they start adapting their lives early on to be happy and thriving on their own. Add that to the more than 40% of women who will get divorced. A sizable number of them will not remarry, and will fi gure out ways to have a happy life on their own. Let me add one other group: Women over 50 who marry older men who get sick or die before them. Women who have been caregivers often do whatever is necessary with a full and willing heart, but when it’s over, they are convinced they never want to go through that again.

Are women on their own lonely? Some are, of course, but note that men are far more likely to remarry, and remarry more quickly, after divorce or losing a spouse. Why? Here’s the main reason, other than the ratio of men to women: I believe a lot of women simply don’t need men. And the main reason for that is they have each other. Some enter into romantic relationships, but most enjoy deep, loving, and supportive lifetime friendships. They travel together (how many men travel together who aren’t skiers, golfers or gay?), get together in book clubs, meet often for coffee, or sit on their front porches together while they knit, quilt or schmooze. They show up for one another.

There are some men who get together like this. They play cards, join clubs, drop by a neighborhood bar, golf, go hunting, help each other fix a car, etc. They do have all-male alliances, and some have deep, meaningful friendships that also last a lifetime. But there are many men who do not build those friendships, and whose main emotional support is their wife. No one can replace her.

So, do heterosexual women need men the way heterosexual men need women? I think not. On the other hand, if you love somebody, you love them — and they brighten your day, engage your mind, fulfill your intimate life, help create a family, and you want them forever, and you know you need them. But if you are a woman who is not fortunate enough to have that guy, well, maybe you don’t need men just to have one.

Your thoughts?

Q: Am I being old fashioned or unfair? My wife has become very close to her immediate supervisor in her office. He seems happily married, and I would call us happily married, but I just don’t feel comfortable with opposite sex friendships. I am OK if we go out as a foursome. I am OK if they are friendly at the office. But they take lunch breaks together and trade jokes and gossip on email, and basically, I would like her to pull back on this. Am I off-base or is this just building to something romantic? Honestly, I feel what’s always in a man’s mind when he’s around a beautiful woman (my wife is beautiful) is how to get in her pants.

A: I guess the first thing I would ask you is if you are feeling insecure about your marriage or if your wife has, in any way, made you think she would have an affair? If your fears about the officemate are partly or greatly about your feelings about your wife’s loyalty, then I think that’s the issue that must be addressed first. Asked another way, do you think she would be influenced by a man over time that would overwhelm her in some way? In either case, I think your fears are something to work on, especially if there has been no indication, either by flirtatious behavior or anything she has said, that she would not be trustworthy.

It may help, by the way, to know that you are not alone. I know many men are nervous about their wife having a close friendship with another man, as well as women worried about their guy having a close friendship with a woman. But people can and do have close friendships with the opposite sex and are not tempted, no matter what is on the other person’s mind. I understand that your wife is beautiful but that doesn’t mean a man who is friendly with her could not resist testing boundaries.

In this case, your wife has found a friend, and quite honestly, a valuable friendship in that she works with this guy and his opinion of her matters. It is fair, however, to ask her if this guy has made any inappropriate comments to her, and if she says he has (but she has brushed them off), then I think it would be fair to say it is unwise to be that friendly with someone who has an unwanted agenda. That includes lunches or anything out of the office that could put her in a truly difficult situation.

But if there are no such comments, I think it would be sad for you to forbid the friendship, and your lack of trust might cause a lot of hurt and resentment. An office buddy makes the workday a lot more fun and interesting. If your wife loves you — and you love her — why worry? Maybe a good way to end those fears would be to invite him and his wife over, and make him your friend, too.